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Newsletter
October 1999   ~  Volume 2, Number 3
News

Visit Our New Website

Welcoming In the Millennium

Congratulations To Our New Initiates

The New Jersey Intensives

August Celebration 1999

Divine Mother Audrey with New Initiates
Divine Mother Audrey with New Initiates  Back row: Jeane Yamamoto, Tiffany Taise, Hiroko Fujimoto, Audrey Kwock, Meredith Kwock and Jared Kagihara.  Front row: Deborah, Jade and Damion Anderson and Micah Ganske
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Testimonies
Edith Sakai's Testimony

Tatou Mehta's Testimony

Sudhir Mehta's Testimony

Tom Farkash's Testimony


Photos from the October 1999 newsletter:
You may view the photos from the October 1999 newsletter.

VISIT OUR NEW WEBSITE

     Thanks to the hard work of Nolan Tamashiro of Los Angeles, we now have our own website.  Nolan, thank you for the professional work that you did in creating this beautiful website, and our continued appreciation for the future updates which you will provide.

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WELCOMING IN THE MILLENNIUM

     The spiritual family will be welcoming in the year 2000 with a special week of meditation and intensives commencing December 27th, and culminating in meditation at midnight, December 31, 1999. Christmas Day dinner at 6:00 PM, as well as our annual remembrance of Divine Mother's initiation day on December 26th at 9:00 AM are open to the whole spiritual family. A New Year's Day lunch at noon is also open to everyone.

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CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR NEW INITIATES

     Congratulations to our new initiates: Jade, Damion and Deborah Anderson, (London), Meredith Kwock, Hiroko Fujimoto, Audrey Kwock, Micah Ganske, Jared Kagihara, Jeane Yamamoto, (Honolulu), and Tiffany Taise, (Los Angeles).

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THE NEW JERSEY INTENSIVES

     Travels continue with the spiritual family. Many thanks to Tatou and Sudhir Mehta for hosting the New Jersey meditation intensives in their lovely home. Gathering there were Tom Farkash from Florida, Mary and David Farkash, Annie, Duffy and Meredith Kwock, Edith Sakai, Roberta, John and Sarah Christianson, and Leni Davis from Honolulu. Each person has a powerful story to share; stories of transformation, insight, awareness, and ever deepening love. Due to space limitations in this issue, we are not able to include everyone's beautiful sharing. We hope to do so in future issues. We appreciate the enthusiasm of each person who so willingly came forth with their testimonials.
     Experiences are not always easy to face, as these true life stories shared so courageously with our readers will reveal. When we come to know God, we come to understand that each experience serves as a stepping stone in our spiritual evolvement, propelling us to seek out the One Source from which we can find true peace, love and eternal life. Ever are we in the loving hands of God, and there is nowhere we can be that God is not. May you find these stories inspiring, and may they help us to understand that the most powerful force in the universe is the power of God's Love. This Love that heals our wounded hearts, that overcomes our darkest fears, that frees us from the chains of guilt, is already within you, the closest of all!


Edith Sakai
Edith Sakai of the Honolulu Spiritual Family

Edith Sakai of the Honolulu Spiritual Family

    It's not easy being a mother who's lost a thirty-one year old son—my only child. This happened to me on May 17, 1999. Divine Mother had spoken of "when the big wave comes..." I am currently making plans for the inurnment and making decisions every mother should be spared—like what to do with his clothing, how to go about closing his bank accounts, what to say to his friends.
     The tears come too readily when I see the little ceramic figures he made in grade school...the toy penguins he gave me as a surprise one day, and the African violet plant in a ribboned basket he gave me on Mother's Day seven years ago, which is in full bloom. I miss him. It is not easy. Divine Mother is so right about "when the big wave comes..." I cling to her and God. Only the great spiritual Love of Divine Mother has helped me through this.
     The day immediately following my son Wayne Robert's death, Divine Mother gave me a deep meditation session. Every day, until and including the day of the funeral service, she took me to Spirit. From the first session, she let me cry and wail and grieve. I longed so to have my son enfold me in his arms. My tears were endless. My heart was truly broken. At each session, Divine Mother would say the Mantra aloud for me and for all those gathered in Spirit.
     And the miracles began. In spirit, I saw Divine Mother smiling, my son standing next to her, also smiling, telling me how happy he was with Divine Mother, so joyous and free. Divine Mother took him into her chariot, over oceans and through myriad experiences, sometimes even with humor and whimsy. My heart was being put back together again as I saw how much Love and tenderness Divine Mother has for my son.
     Divine Mother helped me formulate all the questions I wanted to ask my son. In spirit his answers gave me clarity and direction. He said he wanted his funeral service to be happy and he wanted me to be happy.
     And so it was—a grand and glorious service, a celebration of life, with over 400 people in attendance at the chapel of Iolani School where Wayne Robert thoroughly enjoyed his school days. So many of his friends were in attendance. Divine Mother, with the help of the kind spiritual family, orchestrated a lovely, lovely service. My son couldn't have been more honored. Thank you.
     During the program, her "Message of Love" touched so many hearts. Moreover, her Light blessed the school, the chapel, the campus, the athletic fields where many children to come would receive the blessing of the Light. Divine Mother had turned my son's departure into a gift.
     Immediately after the service, Divine Mother left for the mainland intensives. Divine Mother's Love for me was endless—as I had been invited by Divine Mother to join the intensives.
     Divine Mother's New Jersey home is so beautiful...the charming home of Sudhir and Tatou Mehta...surrounded by a green expanse of lawn and flanked by a majestic forest from which emerged furry creatures and colorful birds. What a perfect setting in which to go to Spirit.
     In the sunlit meditation room Divine Mother allowed souls to open up. I was able to speak of my son and his death and his life. So many powerful messages. So much Love for the Christiansons, the Kwocks, the Farkashes, and all of us there. Her special words taking us to Spirit, and offering all of our lifetimes of remorse and guilt to Divine Mother. Beautiful Divine Mother, every morning at the breakfast table, answering questions, addressing concerns, joking and laughing with us. Every lunch hour at the screened veranda overlooking the sea of green, she gave of herself, transmitting Love and joy, restoring and nurturing our spirits.
     Cool, lively San Francisco. Divine Mother's wrap-around home where Reiko lives. Rooms face a deck, leafy trees and a swimming pool. The meditation room is heavily carpeted, with deep sofas and comfortable pillows. Divine Mother continued her regime of early breakfast and continuous spiritual food, punctuated by witty, humorous stories and bursts of laughter. Such camaraderie with the San Francisco Spiritual Family. As Divine Mother worked to heal the rifts, individually and within the group, I felt my own rifts being further healed.
     My son had died by his own hand. It was a death by suicide. As Divine Mother kindly called on me to share my story, I realized more and more that other people had concerns on the topic—their questions and discomfort in not knowing how to deal with the issue. As I shared my story and spiritual experiences, I felt better and better. Truly, my son had not died with finality. His message of peace and joy in Spirit soothes troubled hearts.
     In San Francisco, Divine Mother spoke of her work in mainstreaming spirituality at high levels of excellence here and abroad and how her work will also be for the children. My son was my only child—so remarkable yet fragile, as was his biological father who died in a similar manner. Divine Mother's work inspires hope in me that children will learn how to keep themselves safe, healthy and wholesome.
     Even as I returned home to Honolulu, Spirit is where I go daily to be with my beloved Wayne Robert. During the intensives, Divine Mother erased so many layers of impressions of guilt and remorse. Now, when I see him in Spirit, I am so happy and grateful for our time together.
     Divine Mother has brought Divine Order to the chaos of my incomprehensible experience. Her compassion and wisdom give me strength. She said as time goes by, the nature of spiritual experiences with my son will change. It is comforting to know that God and Divine Mother are taking care of Wayne Robert and know exactly what's needed for a transformative experience. In my heart is a feeling of assurance that all is well—as it should be. Divine Mother has shown me that in Spirit, everything is perfect.
     It is now several weeks since my son's passing. Praise God there is no depression. Divine Mother made it possible for me to sleep at night. Food tastes good and there is energy in the morning for tasks. I would not have made it through this experience by myself. Thank you, Divine Mother and Spiritual Family. Thank you, Los Angeles Spiritual Family, for relieving Divine Mother of her intensive with you so she could help me.
     Divine Mother said my son's coming was a blessing. How lucky I am to have been his mother in this lifetime, to be on the Number Nine Path, to be given so much beauty. Thank you for this Light, the Great Light of Divine Mother and the Avatars.

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Tatou Mehta
Audrey & Tatou Mehta of the New Jersey Spiritual Family

Divine Mother & Tatou Mehta of the New Jersey Spiritual Family

    My hair has grown and fallen out many times since the time I was 13, at times leaving me completely bald. I felt a constant, underlying fear of the wind, tripping, babies that might pull hair, children that might play rough, or the one false move that would send my wig flying and leave me totally humiliated! For this reason I've always felt bound and constrained, unable to move naturally and freely. A few months prior to Divine Mother's arrival, I started going everywhere without my wig because I didn't want to spend my life totally consumed by fear. I noticed that in some places I felt pretty safe, while in others I felt very vulnerable and uncomfortable. The hardest thing for me to do was to go to the mall by myself. I really felt self-conscious and basically ran in, did my shopping and left as fast as I could. One of my biggest fears was that people might think I was a skinhead or a neo-Nazi and actually attack me because of the way I look. It was very difficult and stressful for me to continue like this, so I decided that I would wear the wig everywhere but the gym. Sometimes I asked myself if this was cowardice.
     The first day of the New Jersey intensives, when it was time to pick Divine Mother up at her hotel, I decided that I was definitely not going to wear my wig. I knew that with Divine Mother everything would be all right and felt that there was no better time to go for my freedom. I was relieved to finally see her again because all of this was building up inside of me, and I was glad to be with the one person who truly understands me. I shared about my hair and the fears that controlled my life. The three days in Divine Mother's presence were pure heaven for me. Although I was just one of several people present at the New Jersey intensives, I felt that Divine Mother was totally one with me and was filling me up with God's Love. When Sudhir and I took Divine Mother to the airport, I felt totally unselfconscious in spite of people staring at my head! I really didn't care what anyone said or did because I was so totally focused on Divine Mother. I felt totally safe, happy and surrounded in God's Light. As Divine Mother was leaving, she told me that I am beautiful and that I am not defined by my hair. I thank God for this beautiful message that changed my consciousness. When I look in the mirror I no longer see a horrible wreck. I see past the physical to the beautiful soul. I thank God for this experience because in addition to changing the way I view myself, I've noticed a difference in the way I view others. I feel more compassion for people that may be different because I know how difficult that can be, but at the same time I'm aware of their beautiful and precious souls. This brings me great joy! I'm infinitely grateful to Divine Mother for making the long trip to New Jersey where she literally resuscitated me with God's pure Love. Her presence is so precious to me and fills me with hope, peace and love. I feel blessed to have been the recipient of God's infinite Grace. Praise God!

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Sudhir Mehta
Sudhir Mehta of the New Jersey Spiritual Family

Sudhir Mehta of the New Jersey Spiritual Family

     As the last five years have gone by, Divine Mother's Love and devotion to guide us towards our relationship to God have moved me towards true happiness and joy of living. Divine Mother's grace has flowed to me every time I have been with Divine Mother. Her guidance and tools to convert anger, lust, greed and hurt to calm and peace has helped me go into the world more peacefully, with greater understanding and love in my heart.
     During the New Jersey intensives, apart from the fears and guilt Divine Mother took away from me, she gave me another gift with one sentence that opened my awareness further in understanding the purpose of the events and people who enter my life. She said that everyone comes into our lives to help us to evolve. Though simply said, it had such an impact because with her words, Divine Mother's beautiful Light flows, leaving a joyous impression on me. My heart is open and belongs to Divine Mother.
     Divine Mother's words brought back memories of two lepers whom I have met a couple of times in my life in the city where my parents live in India. Whenever I've seen them, compassion rises in my heart and I give them money. They have always thanked me. But Divine Mother's words made me realize that they should not be thanking me. It is I that should be thanking them for giving me the opportunity, through their sacrifice, to evolve, by allowing me to practice selflessness, and to grow in greater love and compassion for others. Every time somebody gives me an opportunity to love now, I thank him or her for the opportunity that I'm given to evolve. Every time somebody triggers the anger within me and I can go and pound it out, I bless them and thank them for helping me to heal and evolve.

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Tom Farkash
Tom Farkash of the Florida Spiritual Family

Tom Farkash of the Florida Spiritual Family

    I was not a seeker and I did not believe in God. I believed that life was a struggle to survive: kill or be killed. My world was very small and grew tighter and tighter. I made my family my god, and now it was one tiny little struggle competing in conflict with the world. My tight circle was strangling my spirit and the spirit of my wife and two children.
     At the age of five, my mother dug her fingernails into my right forearm and time stopped. I broke with life and love. I pronounced my mother dead in my mind and from that point on, anyone who crossed me was dead, and ceased to exist. I remember that moment filled with shock, anger, pain and sadness, and consciously saying to myself that I will feel nothing for my mother, but total indifference. I remember little else. I moved through life from that point on, nice on the outside, but a phantom and totally empty on the inside, with a bad temper that subsided and popped out from time to time, despite my best efforts.
     In 1991, my parents experienced a massive car wreck. Both were in the hospital (ICU) for two months. My mother had survived chemotherapy and multiple myeloma five years before her accident, just when my son, Ben, was born. At the time of the accident, she was one half way through chemotherapy for Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
     Despite everything, she miraculously continued to survive, and even got off the ventilator after having been on it for over a month. She lived for one year after the accident in horrific pain. My father, always the philosopher with a smile and a handshake and a kick to the pants, (he was a career army officer, chop, chop), suffered severe brain damage from the car accident. My father lost complete independent function and became childlike. He was dependent on others to feed, clothe, bathe, and move him. He lost his ability to speak. The struggle went on for a year when my mother died. At her death, I looked to see if I could feel anything for her, and nothing was there. This complete lack of feelings unnerved me a bit.
     After mom died my little brother, Paul, had been struggling through life self-medicating on alcohol and drugs. Many times I had to pull Paul from scrapes with the law (I am a lawyer by trade), and it grew tiresome. My mom's death and Paul's growing anger towards the man who ran through the stop sign and crashed into my parents' car consumed him. Paul was in deep depression and feeling very sorry for himself. This annoyed me. I could not feel for nor empathize with him. I told Paul that he could go to counseling. When Paul said he just wanted to kill himself, I told him to go ahead and kill your self. I never saw Paul alive again. One month later, I happened to be in Jacksonville, Florida doing a deposition. I am never in Jacksonville, which is a two-hour drive from my home. While in the middle of the deposition, I was interrupted. Paul was dead. I was directed to the Medical Examiner's office to identify his body. One half of his head had been blown off by a shotgun. It was self-inflicted.
     I killed my mother at five. I now had killed my little brother Paul. This was a secret I would take to my grave. How could anyone forgive me? I could never forgive myself. I cannot begin to describe the guilt I felt. Paul and mom were cremated, and their ashes were stored in my closet, haunting me in my own home.
     My brother, Dave, was in Hawaii. He had pressured Paul and me to tell dad, who was fragile and brain damaged from the car wreck, about mom's death. I have tears now while I write this. I struggled against Dave, but finally gave in. Dad must have understood something because he did not eat for over a week after being told of mom's death. There was no way I could or would ever tell dad of Paul's death because I felt that I had killed Paul. I know news of Paul's death would in turn, kill dad. Dave pressured me over the years to tell pop and I resisted. Five years later, Dave came for a visit to Florida. David informed me that he told dad of Paul's death on his own while saying goodbye to dad on his way back to Hawaii. One week later, dad died. I felt that I now had killed them all. They were all cremated and in my closet. I couldn't put them in the ground fast enough to get closure.
     Two months later we had a bit of a family reunion in Washington, D.C. We buried dad and mom in Arlington National Cemetery. They would not take Paul. We brought Paul's urn along anyway to the ceremony. I was sad and full of guilt. David and I brought Paul's ashes back to Florida and spread Paul's ashes in the Gulf of Mexico off Cedar Key. We canoed out in total stillness. There was no wind, no birds, and no noise. It was hot, flat, and calm. The moment we placed Paul's ashes in the waters, life erupted with hundreds of mullet jumping all over, a shark circling, and a light rain began to fall. It was most beautiful.
     One month later, my wife informed me that there was no relationship, no marriage, no love, and no lunch. I finally heard the no lunch part after fourteen years. With no faith there was nothing to hold on to and I did a free fall into the black hole. I became depressed and suicidal. There was nothing to live for. I knew from experience that anything said would not matter to those left behind. Paul had written a note that it was not our fault. I knew my two beautiful children, Ben and Jenny, would feel responsible and I could not put that on them. Despite knowing this, I was spent and could see no end to the pain other than killing myself.
     David was the one person in my family I had not completely cut off, when I could still feel love many years ago. Despite time, distance and separation over the years, and all the negative dynamics and games between us, I could sense love, very faint, but present. David came to Florida and shined the Light. He told me about Divine Mother. He told me to go to Hawaii to meet Divine Mother.
     I went to Hawaii in November 1996, and met Divine Mother and the spiritual family. I was totally spent and had no energy. I was open with my defenses down. I felt a huge outpouring of unconditional love. Divine Mother gave me many one-on-ones. So much Grace! My spirit stirred and arose after slumbering for 41 years. Initially, I was high from the love and went back to Florida. Eventually, I ran out of spiritual food and returned again to Hawaii. Again, so much Love and Light were so freely given to me. I met my Godself well enough to solidly connect. I returned to Florida lifted by love.
     Over time through God's Grace, Divine Mother's guidance and Love, and the love of the spiritual family, I felt safe enough to know that I would not die to go to that space in spirit to see my mother and reconcile with her. My inner conflict with my mother was finally put to rest, clearing the way for love to pour into my heart.
     Now this great life adventure continues. Life is now a joy and change comes along in a constant flow. Anger, sadness, and shut down have all been replaced by gratitude. I cherish every moment with Divine Mother and the spiritual family. Most recently in New Jersey, I had the privilege and opportunity to be with Divine Mother. She gave me so many new awarenesses, which helped to facilitate more inner changes. I became aware of how ingrained judgment is in me. I was able to face and examine my reluctance to communicate feelings. As a result of these changes, I now have a beautiful, loving relationship with my brother, David.
     Life now has meaning. I can feel and share love. My world gets bigger and bigger. All of my relationships have become better and better, especially with my two children. We are getting to know each other. They now have a father who is present for them. All of my inner emptiness has been replaced with such deep gratitude. Thank You, God!

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August Celebration 1999

     Our heartfelt thanks to the many people from out of town who joined us for the August Celebration, as well as the Honolulu spiritual family for their tremendous support in helping to make this celebration a success. Special thanks to the Australia, New Jersey, Los Angeles, San Francisco and London spiritual families for their uplifting skits, and to Jade, Damion, Deborah, Jon and Jane Anderson, (London), Natalie Johnson, (Honolulu), Michael Wyse, (Michigan), Gary Maeda, (Los Angeles), and Lee Gordon, (Honolulu), for sharing their beautiful voices with their special songs.
     We were happy to welcome the following newcomers to our celebration: Michael O’Flaherty, (Colorado), Michael Murai, (Los Angeles), Francisco Adame, (Los Angeles), Wendy Vig, (San Francisco), Kashi Smith, (Georgia), Michael Wyse, (Michigan), Nannette Brierly, (Washington), and Michael Hayes, (Australia). Our August Celebration gets larger every year, as more and more people from different parts of the world ask to join us. We thank the many loving hearts and helping hands who ensure the success of this celebration. Divine Mother would be pleased indeed to see that we are diligently practicing what she asked us to do, "homogenize" with our spiritual brothers and sisters from all over the world!
     Enjoy these August celebration photos.

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The Anderson Family performing at the August Celebration in Honolulu

The Anderson Family performing at the August Celebration in Honolulu
Damion Anderson of the London Spiritual Family
Deborah Anderson of the London Spiritual Family
[top]: Damion Anderson of the London Spiritual Family
[bottom]: Deborah Anderson of the London Spiritual Family

Jade Anderson of the London Spiritual Family
Val and Peter Valentine of Australia
[top]: Jade Anderson of the London Spiritual Family
[bottom]: Val and Peter Valentine of Australia
 

Michael Hayes and Val and Peter Valentine of the Australian Spiritual Family

Michael Hayes and Val and Peter Valentine of the Australian Spiritual Family

Tom Taise, Lloyd Nakamura Sr. and Lloyd Nakamura Jr. of the Los Angeles Spiritual Family Natalie Johnson of the Honolulu Spiritual Family
Tom Taise, Lloyd Nakamura Sr. and Lloyd Nakamura Jr. of the Los Angeles Spiritual Family Natalie Johnson of the Honolulu Spiritual Family

Joseph Madamba of the Honolulu Spiritual Family Delicious food served by Ann Rubendall, Jan Yuen, Soozi Kawakami, Randy Tamaru and Edith Sakai of Honolulu
Joseph Madamba of the Honolulu Spiritual Family Delicious food served by Ann Rubendall, Jan Yuen, Soozi Kawakami, Randy Tamaru and Edith Sakai of Honolulu

Gary Maeda of the Los Angeles Spiritual Family Kashi Smith from Georgia Michael Wyse from Michigan
Gary Maeda of the Los Angeles Spiritual Family Kashi Smith from Georgia Michael Wyse from Michigan

Kashi Smith and Jade Anderson Micah and Pam Ganske with Divine Mother Audrey Jon and Jane Anderson of the London Spiritual Family
Kashi Smith and Jade Anderson Micah and Pam Ganske with Divine Mother Audrey Jon and Jane Anderson of the London Spiritual Family

Broadway performance from the San Francisco Spiritual Family A celebration performance from the New Jersey Spiritual Family
Broadway performance from the San Francisco Spiritual Family A celebration performance from the New Jersey Spiritual Family

John and Sarah Christianson of the Honolulu Spiritual Family Cathy, Alyssa, and Dwight Oda of the Los Angeles Spiritual Family
John and Sarah Christianson of the Honolulu Spiritual Family Cathy, Alyssa, and Dwight Oda of the Los Angeles Spiritual Family

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