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Edith Sakai 's Testimonial
My Son's Passing: A Celebration of Love
(from the October 1999 Newsletter)

Edith Sakai of the Honolulu Spiritual Family  
 
Edith Sakai of the Honolulu Spiritual Family  
 

    It's not easy being a mother who's lost a thirty-one year old son—my only child. This happened to me on May 17, 1999. Divine Mother had spoken of "when the big wave comes..." I am currently making plans for the inurnment and making decisions every mother should be spared—like what to do with his clothing, how to go about closing his bank accounts, what to say to his friends.
     The tears come too readily when I see the little ceramic figures he made in grade school...the toy penguins he gave me as a surprise one day, and the African violet plant in a ribboned basket he gave me on Mother's Day seven years ago, which is in full bloom. I miss him. It is not easy. Divine Mother is so right about "when the big wave comes..." I cling to her and God. Only the great spiritual Love of Divine Mother has helped me through this.
     The day immediately following my son Wayne Robert's death, Divine Mother gave me a deep meditation session. Every day, until and including the day of the funeral service, she took me to Spirit. From the first session, she let me cry and wail and grieve. I longed so to have my son enfold me in his arms. My tears were endless. My heart was truly broken. At each session, Divine Mother would say the Mantra aloud for me and for all those gathered in Spirit.
     And the miracles began. In spirit, I saw Divine Mother smiling, my son standing next to her, also smiling, telling me how happy he was with Divine Mother, so joyous and free. Divine Mother took him into her chariot, over oceans and through myriad experiences, sometimes even with humor and whimsy. My heart was being put back together again as I saw how much Love and tenderness Divine Mother has for my son.
     Divine Mother helped me formulate all the questions I wanted to ask my son. In spirit his answers gave me clarity and direction. He said he wanted his funeral service to be happy and he wanted me to be happy.
     And so it was—a grand and glorious service, a celebration of life, with over 400 people in attendance at the chapel of Iolani School where Wayne Robert thoroughly enjoyed his school days. So many of his friends were in attendance. Divine Mother, with the help of the kind spiritual family, orchestrated a lovely, lovely service. My son couldn't have been more honored. Thank you.
     During the program, her "Message of Love" touched so many hearts. Moreover, her Light blessed the school, the chapel, the campus, the athletic fields where many children to come would receive the blessing of the Light. Divine Mother had turned my son's departure into a gift.
     Immediately after the service, Divine Mother left for the mainland intensives. Divine Mother's Love for me was endless—as I had been invited by Divine Mother to join the intensives.
     Divine Mother's New Jersey home is so beautiful...the charming home of Sudhir and Tatou Mehta...surrounded by a green expanse of lawn and flanked by a majestic forest from which emerged furry creatures and colorful birds. What a perfect setting in which to go to Spirit.
     In the sunlit meditation room Divine Mother allowed souls to open up. I was able to speak of my son and his death and his life. So many powerful messages. So much Love for the Christiansons, the Kwocks, the Farkashes, and all of us there. Her special words taking us to Spirit, and offering all of our lifetimes of remorse and guilt to Divine Mother. Beautiful Divine Mother, every morning at the breakfast table, answering questions, addressing concerns, joking and laughing with us. Every lunch hour at the screened veranda overlooking the sea of green, she gave of herself, transmitting Love and joy, restoring and nurturing our spirits.
     Cool, lively San Francisco. Divine Mother's wrap-around home where Reiko lives. Rooms face a deck, leafy trees and a swimming pool. The meditation room is heavily carpeted, with deep sofas and comfortable pillows. Divine Mother continued her regime of early breakfast and continuous spiritual food, punctuated by witty, humorous stories and bursts of laughter. Such camaraderie with the San Francisco Spiritual Family. As Divine Mother worked to heal the rifts, individually and within the group, I felt my own rifts being further healed.
     My son had died by his own hand. It was a death by suicide. As Divine Mother kindly called on me to share my story, I realized more and more that other people had concerns on the topic—their questions and discomfort in not knowing how to deal with the issue. As I shared my story and spiritual experiences, I felt better and better. Truly, my son had not died with finality. His message of peace and joy in Spirit soothes troubled hearts.
     In San Francisco, Divine Mother spoke of her work in mainstreaming spirituality at high levels of excellence here and abroad and how her work will also be for the children. My son was my only child—so remarkable yet fragile, as was his biological father who died in a similar manner. Divine Mother's work inspires hope in me that children will learn how to keep themselves safe, healthy and wholesome.
     Even as I returned home to Honolulu, Spirit is where I go daily to be with my beloved Wayne Robert. During the intensives, Divine Mother erased so many layers of impressions of guilt and remorse. Now, when I see him in Spirit, I am so happy and grateful for our time together.
     Divine Mother has brought Divine Order to the chaos of my incomprehensible experience. Her compassion and wisdom give me strength. She said as time goes by, the nature of spiritual experiences with my son will change. It is comforting to know that God and Divine Mother are taking care of Wayne Robert and know exactly what's needed for a transformative experience. In my heart is a feeling of assurance that all is well—as it should be. Divine Mother has shown me that in Spirit, everything is perfect.
     It is now several weeks since my son's passing. Praise God there is no depression. Divine Mother made it possible for me to sleep at night. Food tastes good and there is energy in the morning for tasks. I would not have made it through this experience by myself. Thank you, Divine Mother and Spiritual Family. Thank you, Los Angeles Spiritual Family, for relieving Divine Mother of her intensive with you so she could help me.
     Divine Mother said my son's coming was a blessing. How lucky I am to have been his mother in this lifetime, to be on the Number Nine Path, to be given so much beauty. Thank you for this Light, the Great Light of Divine Mother and the Avatars.

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